The Loopholes of Dating

Alright blogworld. I think we need to have a quick heart-to-heart about dating before I ramble on about food and whatnot.

I’ve been hearing about a lot of relationships failing lately.

The above book… you should own it. If you’ve ever had to go through that whole “I can’t stop dry heaving because I’m so emotionally wrecked” post-breakup thing, this will become your best friend. I recently passed my copy along to a dear friend. Broken hearts hurt–don’t feed them sugar, feed them love. And then feed your loved ones sugar because they earned it by putting up with your sappy blubbering self.

Dating blows. It just does. Life is not like “The Notebook” so admit that to yourself and you’ll probably be okay. I decided to write a non-exhaustive list of all the things that you will probably want to ask the poor sap you’re on a first date with. In no particular order, here it is:

  1. Do you have children?
  2. Have you ever been to prison?
  3. Do you have a job?
  4. Are you an alcoholic?
  5. How long ago did your last relationship end (that one’s for you, J!)
  6. Are you addicted to video games?
  7. Do you have a car?
  8. Does your mom do your laundry?
  9. Are you currently married/in a relationship with someone (particularly relevent when using dating websites)?
  10. Have you ever cheated on someone?
  11. Are you the proud owner of a gigantic cartoon character tattoo?
  12. Do you like women?
  13. Are utterly dependent upon your parents?
  14. You smell terrible, is it because you are eating fast food all the time?
  15. Do you abuse animals?
  16. Are you old enough to be my dad?
  17. Do you/have you ever done drugs? Like “real” drugs.
  18. Is this for real or am I just on “Disaster Date” ? Always be on the lookout for hidden cameras when things start to get out of control.

If you receive satisfactory answers to those questions then you might have yourself a keeper! There are loopholes, though, so be careful… I feel warm and fuzzy for passing knowledge bombs along to my fellow single people! You’re welcome.

 

LOL. Jessica shared that on my wall. I ❤ it.

Went to a bonfire on Saturday night with lots of Crossfit peeps!

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It was a good time. those crossfitters get a little crazy when you add a little alcohol into the mix. Diets went out the window. So did pretending to be adults. So did being appropriate. I like those people a lot. I’ll leave out the gory details, but I laughed HARD that night. My stomach was hurting from laughing so hard. Some people are really good at english accents. Good times. I am really bad at baggo.

The next say I skipped the workout (it was mostly squats anyways) and went to Eureka Springs with Zach. We took our bikes and hit up Lake Leatherwood. It was incredibly rocky… I wanna go back some time and redeem myself. Lake Leatherwood- 1, Lisa-0.

We also did some shopping. I fell madly in love with this jacket, but I didn’t buy it.

20121119-153246.jpg Ugh, next time… Couldn’t justify it. I have too much christmas shopping to do.

We ate at a place called “Local Flavor Cafe”. It was a winner. I ordered the veggie omelette with goat cheese. NOM.

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I also faileo’ed and ate the biscuit. I haven’t had a biscuit in like 2 years, so step off.

I made the 5-ingedient acorn squash again.

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Then today for lunch I had leftover sweet potato, scrambled eggs, and and skilletted up some spinach. I sure with ‘skilleted up” was a normal phrase. Let’s make it one. “Skillet that sh*t up!”

20121119-153317.jpgHot sauce is delicious on eggs. Cinnamon is not.

 

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2 thoughts on “The Loopholes of Dating

  1. ombetrækning af stol frederiksberg December 30, 2012 / 7:49 am

    Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to mention
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