17.4 is 16.4

Last year, this was my favorite open workout of all time:


So when it was announced this year, I felt pretty confident that I could smash it again. It was programmed on Tuesday and I did it then, but after that my neck and upper back were feeling really wonky and tight from all the hand stand pushups. So on Friday night I made my first attempt. I got the best split I’ve ever had: 7:39!

I felt super confident and I started cranking away at the HSPU.

Then I started to feel really bad and wasn’t sure what was going on. When the time ran out and  the workout was over and the adrenaline was gone the reality of my score started to set in: I got the worst score I ever had at this workout. The best split. The worst score. I was devastated.

Then I realized how much pain my neck and upper back were in. I couldn’t turn my head and every movement I made with my neck brought sharp, searing pains. My devastation turned into intense worry.

I spent the whole weekend trying to massage everything out and get it all opened up. I put super itchy magneisum oil on, took a weird anti-inflammatory given to me by Bud (lol!), paif for a 30 minute massage, schedule an appointment with Dr. John for right before the workout Monday night, and pretty much tried to keep moving as much as possible without straining anything.

It was so bad that I couldn’t work out at all the whole weekend. I did some light yard work and that was it.

I cried a lot on Sunday out of frustration. I was upset with myself for getting a bad score, for being sick for most of the open, for having another excuse, and for caring so much about something so meaningless in the grand scheme of things. I was aware that it was stupid, but I couldn’t seem to take the reigns and control myself about it.

This year every single week of the open has been worse than the last for me mentally.

So on Monday, my goal was to get back to the deads.

And i almost did. I ended up with the worst split I’ve ever gotten. 8:04. I just didn’t have the gumption to stick to my plan with the deadlifts and then the row just felt really weak.

I felt a lot more determined during the HSPU’s though. And wasn’t in much pain. But I got some no-reps and really struggled at the end. I was on 54 with a few seconds left.

I flipped up and failed. Came down. Flipped up. Failed again. 54. No deadlifts. I failed this workout and failed my goal. Again.

I’m so glad there’s only one week left. This is my worst open ever and I just want it to be over so I figure out something else to do that doesn’t make me feel like a horrible athlete.


One thought on “17.4 is 16.4

  1. Lisa March 21, 2017 / 7:50 pm

    I’m feeling your pain on this open. Your thoughts and struggles are echoing my own. Only one week to go and then think about where to go from there.
    Just ONE more week – you got this!

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